I Remember
by Dyeh
Summary: Kazuma remembers situations in his life in Kyo's through his eyes. Slight manga, anime spoilers, although nothing too drastic. One Shot. R


**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Normally, I would write something whitty here - but my brain is not up for that challenging task.**

Hello friends! I have not submitted something in sooooooooo long; not even a chapter of one of my stories. Egad! So, therefore, I figured I should get off my ass and finish writing this uncharacteristically non-comedy based one shot that I've been working on and off on for about a month or so. For those of you who have never read my work before you should know two things. One; I'm Dyeh! Nice to meet you. Two; This is not the genre I normally write in.

Buuuuuuut, I'll let you learn that for yourself.

Now then, there are some things that I have kept me from writing. The main is my general lack of interest in fanfiction that I'm having at the moment - I don't know what it is, but I haven't been interested in putting down my Furuba thoughts. Maybe it's because the manga's going the way I don't want it too... but oh well; I will try and regain my interest in it... in time. The second is that I've been in Japan. Yeah, not much of an excuse, but there ya go.

For those of you wondering; "lyk, zomg, how was Japan :O?" Japan pwned. I brought my weight in Peacemaker manga and made lots of friends n.n!

In any case, back to this fanfiction. First of all, it's extremely repetitive, as you'll find out, but I think it creates a good effect. Secondly, there are scarce manga/anime spoilers in there, and I left some of the newest spoilers out to give everybody - or, well, mostly everybody - a chance to read it.

Anywho, enjoy n.n! (and please review)

- _Dyeh_

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**_I remember..._**

I remember that day clearly – the cobbled stones, that place that I was not supposed to be. Curiosity had brought me that way; although I didn't know what lay ahead. I remember hopping from stone to stone, following a path that I didn't recognise; and I remember seeing him.

He knew who I was; I can't say that I knew who he was. After all, I had never met this person before, had I? No, I hadn't. Whoever this man was, he looked like he was caged. His vision was obstructed by bars in his window; wooden, just big enough for his arm to fit through. This man was well into old age. For some reason, he smiled, and knowing who I was, he said; "Here Kazuma, let me give you some candy..."

After a brief moment of calculation, I realised who this man was – the cat; the monster of the Sohma Family, the outcaste feline; the rejected Zodiac member. He carried with him this... monster of sorts, that other Sohma's had described to me.

I remember saying something careless, something insulting, and something all around rude – something that I still regret. To this man, to my Grandfather, I said; "No way! I don't want to get cursed!"

What careless words I dared to utter! I didn't regret it then; this was the cat. After all, if I touched him, wasn't there a chance that I would get cursed too? It was a chance that I did not want to take. I would... however, regret it later.

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I remember sitting in his funeral; Akira had been kind enough to allow my Grandfather the honourable burial rights. I remember that the Sohma members were forced to attend; many sat in rows toward the back, muttering horrible things about him to each other. Why did they have to come? I remember many of them wondering; and only the zodiac and my family payed the service any attention at all.

I remember the things that they said to me afterwards. "Aren't you happy, Kazuma?" They asked me, smiling wickedly; "it must have been terrible having that... monster! for a grandfather. It really is better that he is dead." Those harsh words made me reflect my own;

"_No way! I don't want to get cursed!"_

I realised how horrible these words were; how I felt guilty! Grandfather had died without giving me a chance to apologise! I felt tears of regret filling my eye sockets; but these were met with equally harsh words from them. "Why are you crying, Kazuma? Don't tell me you're actually _sad_ that that _thing_ is dead?" They looked shocked, but not sympathetic.

I needed to find a way to repent.

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I remember when Kyo's birth was announced; there was no rejoicing, and the only celebration was that the cage, where my Grandfather lived a majority of his life, was cleaned so that it was spotless. To this day, I still don't know why they did that. Kyo's birth was also met with cuss words, gritted teeth, and sympathetic cards. I remember thinking that it would be better if the child hadn't have been born at all.

I remember not seeing Kyo on many occasions until it happened. I would see glimpses of orange hair sometimes, but not very often at all. However, when that happened – I noticed just how alone Kyo was.

He sat at the front of the funeral, a bench to himself, completely ostracized from the rest of the family. I remember, that sometime during the funeral, Kyo tried to move to sit next to his father, who was in the row behind him. He was pushed off the chair in a very undignified manner.

I remember the accusations. "It's your fault! Murderer! Go and die! She loved you, did you know that! Stupid Cat! Monster! Why don't you kill yourself too?" The Sohmas had forgotten that they were talking to a child; to them; they were talking to the cat, a monster beyond comprehension.

I remember how this made me feel; a sort of lost hopelessness, mixed with silent anger and rage. Over the years between this moment and my Grandfathers death, I had determined that those cursed by the cat; my grandfather, and now Kyo; were no different from any other Sohma, but... the Sohma family was so dense that they did not, and still do not, see that.

I remember being amazed at how Kyo didn't cry, at how he managed to bottle up all his rage, his grief, his fear. I remember when he walked out of the room after they got bored of insulting and berating him – and I remember following.

He stood before a pond, his fists clenched at his side, staring hard at the water. I remember wondering what his thoughts were. I remember when he noticed my presence beside him. "It's not my fault." He said in a quivering voice; "It's not my fault!"

"Kyo," I remember starting, but was cut off.

"It's not my fault! It's not my fault! It's not my-"

"It's alright Kyo, it's alright. I know." I remember how he cried. It started with a shallow breath, before the small boy burst into tears trying to hide it with his arm. I remember offering him a proposition; to come and live with me.

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I remember when I went to collect Kyo from his parents house – I remember the horrified look on his Fathers face. "Are you going to adopt this... monster! He killed my wife – are you going to adopt a murderer?"

I remember when Kyo bit his lip – it was obvious that he was hoping for at least a goodbye from his Father; it was foolish of him to think that, it seemed, as an accusing finger was pointed at his direction.

I remember saying nothing to this accusation; I put a firm hand on Kyo's shoulder and said simply; "If that's all, we'll be on our way." I do not remember the look on Kyo's fathers' face after that comment, as I did not stick around to see it.

I remember when Kyo stepped into my house for the first time, how timid he looked – like a cat that had just been moved to a new territory. He scoped out his surroundings, almost afraid to step anywhere further than the doorway. He brought a single bag with him; only clothes, obviously, but I was sure that there was a keepsake in there somewhere.

I remember the meal that we had that night; I had cooked, and we ate in silence. It is a well known fact to Kyo that I cannot cook, but the boy didn't complain about the state of the food; but I remember he did pick at it. I also remember trying to make conversation – my attempt failed, and the meal was spent in silence.

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I remember when I first met Yuki with Kyo; the scowl on his face, the clenching of the fists – and then the accusations. I remember the yelling, the screaming; and the face of Kyo's victim, who although stood still and did not say anything back, looked rather hurt. I remember Yuki outstretching his hand, Kyo's cap mingled in his fingers. "Isn't this yours?"

I remember the outburst of screams from Kyo's part. "I don't want it now that you've touched it!"

I was mortified; how utterly similar these words were to the same words I had told my Grandfather years earlier. I felt a twang in my chest, and did not think as my hand reached up to grab the fabric.

I remember Yuki not faltering with these accusations. I remember him saying again; "Isn't this yours, Kyo?"

I also remember Kyo scream; "I _told_ you! I don't want it now that it has rat on it!"

I remember when Kyo turned around and stormed off in the other direction, and I remember calling his name and for him to stop. I was ignored; and I remember turning around to see Yuki's hand slowly lower to his side, hurt written all over his face.

I remember thinking; _This is the beginning of the hate._

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I remember seeing Kyo's true form for the first time. It was Kyo's seventh birthday, and almost on the break of the dawn, young Kyo was interrupted from unwrapping presents to visit the head of the Sohma's, and I was told to escort him.

I remember sitting behind Kyo as Kyo, the reason we were here, was blatantly ignored by an Akito who had grown up beyond his years, and who had scarcely turned the age of ten. "Tell me, Kazuma," I remember him saying; "why did you adopt this cat?" I remember not getting a chance to answer as the young man continued; "I will show you what a mistake you have made."

I remember him finally paying attention to Kyo; uttering uncaring words the way a mother would speak to a child she loved dearly. I remember him saying how worthless Kyo was, how the world would be a better place without him, and how it was his fault that his mother died and that I would face the same fate.

However, what I remember most is what happened next.

Akito told me to stay, and lead Kyo by the hand out into the courtyard beside his house, leaving the doors wide open. I remember watching them kneel in the courtyard, and I remember Akito muttering something to Kyo, which caused his eyes to glance in my direction. He looked terrified.

I remember the bracelet coming off.

I remember as Kyo hunched over, his arms wrapping around himself as his body began to distort in ways that I would have previously deemed impossible. It stretched, compressed, grew and shrunk. I remember that Kyo outstretched his arm towards me in a silent request for help, and I remember not being able to offer any kind of assistance.

I remember thinking that what stood before me was not Kyo – it was some kind of rotten, half dead dinosaur, and I remember being horrified. I remember the expression on Kyo's face, and I remember Akito's words:

"Disgusting."

Worst of all, I remember thinking the same.

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I remember meeting with Kyo's father for the first time after taking Kyo home. He had summoned me into a room with one discussion topic in mind – Kyo's confinement. Worst of all, I remember asking Kyo to wait outside of the private house; to play in the courtyard.

I remember sitting quietly in the room, listening to Kyo's father talk overly-happily about Kyo, and what should be done with, or adversely, too him.

"He should be miserable!" I remember him saying, leaning forward to emphasise the happiness he felt about this topic; "Miserable like I am! He killed my wife – he should repent! He is the reason everybody fears me, he needs to be punished! It's just a shame that we can't cage him until graduation... but, we can make the preparations!"

I remember exiting that sad, quiet room with Kyo's father on my heels, and I remember finding Kyo waiting impatiently on his heels at the stairs to the veranda, a grin on his face and a small pink wiggly worm between his fingertips. "Shishou! Look! I found a worm!"

I remember when Kyo realised who was behind me. He, not surprisingly, dropped the worm and his happy spirit, and stared almost frightfully at the man who stared back for a moment – just a moment. I remember as he growled at Kyo something about being a murderer, and then walked past me, and then past him.

I remember that we both watched him go and did not say a word.

"Now Kyo, where did you find that worm?" I remember saying about a minute afterwards, in an attempt to lighten the boy's mood. Kyo, who looked to completely forget everything that had just happened, grinned.

"Over there!" He pointed under a shrub where it was obvious that somebody – ie. Kyo – had been digging.

I remember as he ran towards it; eager to show me the progress he had made while I had been having the not-so-nice conversation.

I remember thinking that I would die before anybody would cage this boy.

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I remember when Kyo beat up on a boy in middle school for teasing the colour of his hair. I remember getting the phone call with the news that Kyo was being detained, and the extent of the damage that Kyo had done to the student. I remember agreeing to come to the school immediately.

I remember standing at the door as the staff – and Kyo – waited patiently for me to arrive. I remember that I had just opened the door silently when one of the staff members dared to utter; "although I'm curious to know how this father is raising him..."

I remember almost instinctively drawing back; my arm stopped the force on the door just as Kyo screamed; "He's not my Dad! Shishou, you're not my Dad, you're not!"

I remember watching from the crook of the door as the staff members turned in surprise, muttering things to calm him down, but Kyo continued.

"You are not my Dad, and you will never be my Dad!"

I remember feeling utterly and completely helpless.

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I remember seeing Kyo for the first time since I returned from the mountains. It had just stopped raining, and Kyo was being lead, almost by the hand, by a brunette that I had never seen before. I remember saying his name and watching as he twirled around almost, his eyes widening considerably when he saw me.

I remember sitting in Shigure's sitting room with the said owner of the house, Kagura, the brunette – who I discovered was Tohru Honda, Yuki, Kagura and indeed, Kyo. I remember that Kyo said nothing but sulked in a corner while I was greeted by smiles and happy greetings by everybody else.

I remember following Kyo to his bedroom, and commenting on how I was glad that he was keeping up with his reading. I remember that it was then that I finally got a happy greeting out of Kyo.

I remember deciding that Tohru Honda would be the one person outside of the Sohma family that could accept him unconditionally. I remember leading both Kyo and Tohru out into the rain, and speaking to Kyo more harshly about his indecisiveness and fear than I had ever done, and telling him to accept it his 'true form'.

I remember him yelling; "I have accepted it!"

I remember pulling off his beads.

I remember watching, with forced stern eyes, as Kyo's body wrenched in many ways, his limbs elongated, and distorted. I remember seeing, once again, that hideously deformed version of Kyo that he, as the cat, had to accept. I remember watching Kyo run. I remember turning to Tohru.

"This is Kyo's true form. Does it not terrify you, disgust you?"

I remember that Tohru did not say anything; but she did run after Kyo.

I remember waiting in suspense for what seemed like hours before Tohru returned, Kyo's clothes in her arms, and Kyo cradled in her arms. I remember my knee's buckling under me with relief as I thanked her whole heartedly.

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I remember watching as things went back to normal; well, the normal that had become normal while I was away, anyway. I remember entertaining Tohru sometimes at the dojo, watching with a smile as an oblivious love blossomed between the two.

I remember believing that there will be a better tomorrow; that this girl, Tohru Honda would break the curse.

To this day, that I still believe.

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Yes, it stopped rather abruptly; I can't help that. No, there will not be any more chapters. 


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